The Mary Sue Diaries: Confessions of a Mary Sue
by Sapphire Spires
Summary: Sparkley Krystyl Chandelier is beautiful...young...and has a bosom that could be used as a tea-tray. Can this beautiful girl survive a year at Hogwarts and fulfil her -stolen- duty as...'The Chosen One?


**Co-Written by Spires and I ('tis Sapphy here **** xxx) Hope you enjoy! Please review my little frolicking lambkins! (Damn, why do I keep calling people weird, patronising nicknames? Why?) Oh well, please review! Because if you do I will be very happy, and I'm sure Spires will be too. :D**

**xxx**

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**Chapter One**

_In Which We Meet Krystyl_

It was a dark and stormy night. Somewhere in the distance, a wolf howled. Sparkyly Krystyl Chandelier gave a delicate soprano shriek—but then she remembered she was actually a wolf animagus, and the wolf was just saying hello, so she howled back. "HelllooooOOOOOOOooo!"

She turned around and glanced at herself in the crystal (like her name) myrryr, which was like a mirror, only magical. Her amethyst orbs swept over her cascade of golden tresses, which went down to just above her arse. She stared in wonder at her porcelain skin, her delicate rose-coloured lips, her perfectly well-rounded bosom. Her large exotic lavender eyes with their thick dark lashes took in her perfect heart-shaped face with delicate blush, and small, perfectly-formed nose. She wrinkled it delicately—she'd seen what she thought was a spot (but wasn't of course; her skin was far too perfect for that) on her forehead, then remembered, and gave a light laugh like the tinkling of wind chimes.

She looked down at her dainty feet, using enough adjectives to make the OED orgasm. Her perfect eyebrows arched at the nonexistent speck of mud on her left thousand-dollar white ugg boot, until she remembered that she had asked Terra to keep her from getting dirty. Terra, of course, had complied, and the two were now BFFs FL.

She gave a soft sigh which was distressed enough to make even rock weep delicate crystal tears. She turned around and exited her brilliant abode, thinking hard about her beloved half twin brother.

Well, as hard as she possibly could with a brain like _that_.

No, sorry, we have to be serious here. Um. Anyway. So, she walked gently down the corridor of her parents beautiful million pound-er, I mean dollar-mansion. She should have been happy. But she wasn't. Her parents were filthy rich-oh wait, but she's a Mary Sue, so they wouldn't be filthy-so let's just say spectacularly rich, she was gorgeous enough to make even the most photoshopped model look plain and dowdy, she had rooms full of gorgeous and expensive clothes, but she was still unhappy. 'Why?' We hear you dear readers ask. Because (hold on to your sick buckets) money wasn't everything. She had the strangest feeling that her millions of friends and admirers only liked her because she was… well, stunningly gorgeous and rich. She felt that none of them truly appreciated her truly super-stellar, pure and sparkling personality. She sat down on her chaise lounge (not to be confused with a 'main course' *cough cough* my little sister *cough*) and began to weep a river of shining silver tears, somehow avoiding her nose going snotty and red and her eyes becoming red and puffy, like they normally do when any mere _normal_ person cries. Oh, and she managed not to make weird gulping noises resulting in the hiccups like normal people. She had to leave this paradise of stuffy perfection, because she was just so much...

_Better_. She hated to sound conceited (although of course it was impossible for her to sound anything other than understanding, loving, or mad with lust), but it was true. There was nothing in this place filled with designer clothes and stunning rooms for her, although of course she wouldn't say no to taking any of it with her (except the bathroom, because she seriously had no need for that: only _manky_ people used disgusting rooms like that).

She needed to go somewhere else, somewhere where she would be appreciated. And thus, thought Sparkyly Krystyl Chandelier, she would go to Hogwarts.


End file.
